Oct 13th

[John Maida]

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TODAYS RIDDLE

I am large as a castle, yet lighter than air. 100 men and
their horses cannot move me. What am I?


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The shadow of the castle
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Gladys was the preacher's wife and accompanied
her husband each Sunday to church. One particular
Sunday when the sermon seemed to go on forever,
many in the congregation fell asleep.
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After the service, to be sociable, she walked up to
a very sleepy looking gentleman. In an attempt to
revive him from his stupor, she extended her hand in
greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."
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To which the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one!"
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Mr. Oliver Fiddle had a lifelong dream of going to Divinity
School to get his Doctor of Divinity degree. After years
of saving, at long last, he entered the university.

He worked and studied hard and this June his dream will
come true when he finally receives his degree! From that
day forward, he will be known to one and all as
"O. Fiddle D.D."
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Deep Thoughts :
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Why do people sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" when
they are already there?
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Before they invented golf balls, how did they measure hail?
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Why aren't they called bakies instead of cookies?
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Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
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How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work
in the mornings?
.
If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why
are there locks on the doors?
.
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they make the Teflon
stick to the pan?
.
Why is it that while you are driving and looking for
an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
.
What is an occasional table when it is not a table?
.
If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the
opposite of progress?
.
Why do women open their mouths when they put on
mascara?
.
If police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has a right
to remain silent?
.
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
.
Why is quicksand so slow?
.
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
58. Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but
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Where are Preparations A-G?
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When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you
supposed to throw the top one away?
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Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
.

Why do umpires always turn around to sweep off
home plate?
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If we smoke in smoking jackets, and we sleep in
sleeping bags, what do we do in wind breakers?
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Lawyers get a lot of unjust criticism.
I would remind you that it is not right
to condemn a whole profession just because
of 350,000 bad apples.
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Why did the Siamese twins leave the U.S. to go to England ?
So the other one could have a chance to drive.
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Loading Image...t4grandchildren.com
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http://www.iShopInt.com/mall.asp?ID=shoponline
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If you would like to be included on my "Clean Humor"
list, send a blank email to ***@hotmail.com with
"=Include Me=" as the subject. I do not write the jokes.
I only pass on the ones I think are funny. Laughter is
good for the immune system.
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==========================

[Frank A. Rosenbaum]

--

Frank Rosenbaum
Please support the following train meets if you can
Gratiot Valley ( www.gvrr.org ) in Macomb Michigan in March and November
and the Kalamazoo Model Railroad Historical Society ( www.kmrhs.org ) at the
Kalamazoo Fairgrounds in Kalamazoo MI in October.
Also check out the Westchester Model Railroad Club's train meet in Greenwich
CT in November and March.

Visit this web site to see my bridge and the KMRHS http://tinyurl.com/7uqdr
Frank Rosenbaum

Post by John Maida
.
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Why do people sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" when
they are already there?

Actually, the original words were "Take me out of the ballgame".

Post by John Maida
Before they invented golf balls, how did they measure hail?

Lumps of coal?

Post by John Maida
Why aren't they called bakies instead of cookies?

Don't know, why?

Post by John Maida
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Well, if you read the road sign it only looks like the interstate sign. It
says (H) and the number. But the sign is the intersate symbol because the
road is built to interstate standards. Alaska is the same way, but has an
(A).

Post by John Maida
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work
in the mornings?

He drives his snowplow, of course.

Post by John Maida
If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why
are there locks on the doors?

To prevent customers from entering a crime scene.

Post by John Maida
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they make the Teflon
stick to the pan?

True, Teflon is nonstick on the front. The back of the Teflon is very sticky
and will stick to the pan.

Post by John Maida
Why is it that while you are driving and looking for
an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Speaking from personal experience it is so I can talk to myself.

Post by John Maida
What is an occasional table when it is not a table?

In my house, it is a mess.

Post by John Maida
If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the
opposite of progress?

Government?

Post by John Maida
Why do women open their mouths when they put on
mascara?

When have you known a woman who could keep her mouth closed?

Post by John Maida
If police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has a right
to remain silent?

Of course, else the case would be thrown out of court.

Post by John Maida
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

So their head are protected from their assholes when they crash.

Post by John Maida
Why is quicksand so slow?

Because it is faster than regular sand?
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Post by John Maida
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

For the same reason there is no cat flavored dog food.

Post by John Maida
58. Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but

But what???

Post by John Maida
Where are Preparations A-G?

In Alaska. (Upper US.)

Post by John Maida
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you
supposed to throw the top one away?

Only if they are used for medicinal purposes.

Post by John Maida
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

For me, it is because I am physically pffft.

Post by John Maida
Why do umpires always turn around to sweep off
home plate?

So the pitcher has a great big target. Ever notice that their ass is dead
center in the strike zone?

Post by John Maida
If we smoke in smoking jackets, and we sleep in
sleeping bags, what do we do in wind breakers?

Sorry, I am not going to fall for that one.